Almost time to leave Holon

   For those of you who don't know, my program is divided into trimesters. I've already completed my first trimester where I worked at an after school program for children from very broken homes (you can read about that in some of my earlier blogs). In the second trimester I've been living in Holon (a town south of Tel Aviv) working with kids during the afternoon and attending Ulpan (or hebrew class) in the mornings. Well, the second trimester is coming to an end. It's so hard to believe that I'm about to enter my final trimester here in Israel and soon enough I'll be on a plane back to reality and the U.S. 

   

  This week basically consists of finishing up class, saying good-bye to the kids at the place I volunteer at, and cleaning every corner of my apartment, and packing 6 months worth of stuff into 2 little bags. 

   Sunday evening- the night before the test. I've always been told it's easier to learn something you're interested in, well I'm very interested in Hebrew and yet it's still hard- but it's considerably easier because of my want to learn. Sunday evening we had our "End of the section talent show". The show consisted of some good musical performances, some very good short videos. The israeli scouts who are also participants in my program and live along side of us- one lives in my apartment did a dance to "In the Jungle." All of the madrichim (counselors on our program) did a rendition of the song "I kissed a Girl" called "I kissed an Ars." A little bit of education- Ars, the plural Arseem, is the term for 15-21 (roughly) year old Israeli boys that I guess you could say are near the equivalent of "Guidos" in America. They're basically very creepy guys who smoke and drink and wear a lot of gel in their hair, and if you're a girl, you want to stay away from them. It was a fun evening. When it ended we walked home in the pouring rain. One of the scouts- Aviel came back to our apartment because his was another 10 minute walk in the rain. As nice as he is he helped me study for my hebrew exam for a while. The next morning I took the test. It consisted of reading a story and answering questions about it to see if we understood. It was a very interesting story about a couple who were deciding how to celebrate one's birthday so they decided to go on a vacation to the Negev (the desert here in Israel)...sarcasm, it wasn't all that interesting. Then I had some more questions and then the essay part where I had to write about whether or not I liked to travel, and where and what I like to do and go while traveling. Then the oral, I talked with my hebrew teacher for a while. After the test was over she told me that she wasn't to grade it, another teacher was to grade it, but she looked at it and said if I were to grade it I'd say you're going to get an A. I was very happy. She told me she noticed a huge improvement in my hebrew from the beginning of the Section to the end and she was very proud. I walked out of Ulpan very satisfied and happy, and of course called Aviel to thank him for helping me study.

   Sunday during the day was my last day of volunteering. That morning I was up all morning finishing my things for the kids. I made them all individual cards, on the front it had their names in Hebrew and English. On the inside it said- 

היה ממש כיף איתך. אני אתגעגע אליך ואני לא אשכח אותך לעולם. אני אוהבת אותך -סטפאני!!

Got all that? just kidding, it said- "I had a lot of fun with you. I will miss you and I will never forget you. I love you!! -Stephanie.

   To my surprise all of the kids had written me cards as well in the shape of hearts. One girl colored in a picture for me. The lady in charge, Rivka who basically acted as my boss wrote me a very warm letter, as i did to her. It was hard to leave the kids, but I did it once in Petach Tikva so this time i was prepared. I know I will be back there to visit before the year is over. 

   Yesterday I spent the day packing and cleaning the apartment. As an end of the trimester thing my Madrich (counselor) took all of his chanichim (not quite sure how to translate this one, students/program participants) to a Hookah bar. We got on the bus, and got off in a place i didn't recognize. We followed our Madrich behind some building with trees and rocks, and absolutely nothing around. "Uh, Josh, is this when you kill us all?" I said. He laughed and said that's what I said the first time i was taken here. Then we walked to the entrance of the very shady looking building. As we entered we were greeted by very very happy Israelis. We walked into what looked just like a beduoin tent. The only seats were on mattresses on the ground with little tables 4 inches high. There was music and dancing employees, it was a very hidden local spot, a lot of good fun. 

   Today we're just cleaning and getting ready to move out, Sunday I'll be leaving Holon and heading over to Jerusalem. I'll be very sad to leave Holon. The first day we got here my roommate and I decided to run to the grocery store to get some essentials. On the short 5 minute walk there we came in contact with the homeless man that lives on our tiny street. Then, some Arseem on a bike, yes SOME on one bike rode toward us while yelling and scared the Sh---- out of us dodging us at the last second. It was a warm welcome to the new city. While, nothing has changed here, I have. I've come to love this city and the youth here. I will truly miss it and my apartment, the scout I live with, Yali and all of the other scouts who are always there for us. Off to the next trimester!! 

  

Frustration

   I love where I am, and I am 99% of the time one of the most positive people out there. Today I had a moment of complete frustration and just felt like breaking down.

 

   Everyday I got to volunteer. From 1 to 4 30 I go to the same school and work with the same kids. It's an after school program for about 15 kids. In the last 3 months I've grown to love the kids. My hebrew has gotten to an acceptable level (with 6 year old kids that is) so that i can communicate with them. 

   Today I was outside with the kids. When it got to be around 4 Rivka, the lady basically in charge of the program, called me and told me to bring the kids in. I got all up them to start moving toward the door and into the building but one decided LO, she didn't want to. So i started playing with her and telling her that we need to go in. After what i thought was good convincing she still wouldn't budge. I knew what she wanted because i know the girl. Danielle wanted to be picked up like normal and played with. So i picked her up in my hands and started moving toward the door expecting the normal laugh and smiling face from her. Suddenly as i put her down she was crying hysterically and yelling. I could not figure out what I had done wrong. She then ran up the stairs to Rivka and started explaining that Stephanie hurt her while she let the tears poor. I looked at Rivka and for the first time I couldn't find the words not only in English but definitely not in Hebrew. I did not know what to say.

   We continued into the classroom while Rivka explained to Danielle (the little girl) that all the time she asks to be picked up and how am i supposed to know that this one time I was hurting her, that i didn't understand. That was the key word, I didn't understand. Never has the language barrier been so much of an issue for me that i felt like giving up, but today it came close. Luckily I was able to understand Rivka defending me, but I couldn't find the words to say what I wanted to say. I wanted so badly to look at the girl and tell her that I would never ever want to hurt her, that all i was trying to do was play with her. But i couldn't. So i looked at her and i used the words I knew. I told her I was sorry, and that everyday I'm here trying to speak with them and play with them, that i love her and that I was very sorry. I couldn't even say i didn't mean to hurt you. 

   Language barriers are the most frustrating things in the world to me. At home, I take the ability of being able to fully communicate so for granted. I have learned here the hard way that the ability of speech really is important. But I've also learned new and creative ways of communicating when the language barrier is presented. 

   How much easier would the world be if we all just spoke the same language, right? 

Machtesh Ramon

My roommates and I attempting a jumping picture.

    This past friday morning my roommates and I were awoken by our alarms that went off much too early. By 5:30 A.M. we were already on a bus on our way down south. We left a chilly Holon and were all awoken around 10 A.M. to find ourselves driving on dirt paths, the ONLY ones of the road, and in hot sunny weather. When we got out of the bus i looked around my, did a 360 degree turn and all i could see was the ramon crater. The Ramon crater is in the Negev, or the desert of Israel and is one of the largest craters in the World. The crater was created by erosion and is not an impact crater.

    We decided to take the first day easy so we did some nice scenic hikes- or walks- all around the crater. The Israeli scouts on our program (israelis our age who take a year off to volunteer before the army and do so through my program) organized the trip. It was about 30 of us in all that decided to go. At one point we all decided to stop and one of the scouts told us all to find our own place to sit away from everyone else but so that we could still hear him. I found myself sitting on a rock while he told us to try and look around and take in the image in front of us. I listened to him but it was so peaceful out there that all i could hear was the wind in my ears. I am a fan of pictures, and i love them, but i always say, no picture can truly capture an image. There really is no way i could show a picture or describe exactly what i was seeing or feeling at that moment. The image in front of me though is forever in my mind. It was absolutely beautiful.

   Around 5 P.M. after a long day of walking and taking in the sites, we settled into our home for the night. A nice Bedouin tent. All 30 of us got into one of them and set up. That night we cooked dinner, sat around and ate it. We looked at the stars so clear, the kind that most people don't normally get to see. Then headed off to our own sleeping bags for a veryyy cold desert night.

   The following morning we were up very early. As i said we took it easy the first day, the second day we did just the opposite. The Ramon Crater is shaped like a heart. If you were to cut a heart in half, vertically, the part where it meets at the top, like the middle of a 3, there is a big cliff that if you get to the top of it, you can see nearly the entire crater. Well, we climbed to the top of the cliff, and it was not easy. When we reached the top we were all panting, red, and ready to binge drink water. I looked around and the view was breathtaking, literally and figuratively. For a while i sat there at the edge of the cliff, listening to, hearing, nothing but the wind in my ears. I saw nothing but the crater and desert in front of me. I felt like the only person on earth, like there were no problems in the world. It was truly one of the most peaceful feelings I've ever had in my life. 

  One of the scouts had an idea. We all stood around the edge of the cliff and he talked to us about how beautiful and peaceful it was up there. He then said, I too feel like we are the only people in the world right now, and since there is no one around i thought of a really great type of therapy. He explained that like everyone- he has certain emotions of anger and sadness in them and that for one minute he was going to channel them. Then he walked to the edge of the cliff- we all held our breath, 'uhhh what the hell is he doing'. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he screamed from the edge of the cliff. Then turned around and let our a sigh of relief. "Who's next?"

   We all took our turns looking ridiculous, walking to the edge and just screaming bloody mary. When it came my turn I thought of all the things that make me angry, of the things i can't even control and just screamed. I have to say, it is a much more satisfying feeling than one would thing. I felt relieved, refreshed. While everyone was taking their turns I looked around. In our small group of 30 we had people from all over the U.S., people from Sweden, people from England, a boy from Mexico, a girl from Nigeria, 8 people from all over Israel. All of us such different people, and yet i never felt so unified up there on that cliff. 

   After a long day of hard hiking this time we got on a bus and headed home to Holon. As we drove out of the Machtesh- the crater- i kept the window shade open even though all the others were closed, my eyes were glued to the outside of the window. My friend who i was sitting with at the time was Israeli and he asked me what i was looking at. I said the crater, and he said you've seen it for the last 48 hours, take a nap like everyone else. I then explained and realized myself why i couldn't just close the shade, I told him how I don't know the next time I'm going to be there, and how i don't know the next time that I'll get that feeling of such serenity of peacefulness again, so i want to hold on to it. Even though his response was 'what is serenity' he then followed with 'good point.' and decided to look out the window with me. 

Voting time

     

-My roommates and i waiting for the bus to Ramat Hasharon, the hometown of my roommate Yali (the second from the right).

About a week ago, israeli citizens participated in a vote for their new Prime minister. Just like in America, schools were closed for voting day, which meant I had the day off. So, I went with my Israeli roommate to her hometown of Ramat Hasharon- town right outside of Tel Aviv- so that she could vote.

    I went with my other roommates, it was an apartment trip i guess you would say. The 'Ziv' family welcomed us into our home and i truly felt at home there. We all sat around and watched TV for the first time in months. We ate an amazing lunch at their home without having to cook it or clean it up. We felt on top of the world. We love living on our own here, in our own apartment, managing our own money and cleaning ourselves, but once in a while it is truly nice to just feel at home with no worries- that's how we all felt at Yali's home. 

   When it came time for Yali to vote it was pouring down rain as we walked from the car to the voting building. Most people would say well that ruins a day. But seeing as I can count on one hand how many times it's rained here since i've been here, we're thankful for all the rain we can get here. So, it was just another fun memory made of us running through the rain with broken umbrellas. 

   Voting in America as I'm sure everyone reads this knows, is very proper. You walk into the building, go into your own booth, cast your vote electronically and leave. In Israel it is very different. I walked into a room with my roommate Yali (the one voting). In the room was a scienceboard piece of cardboard. She walked behind it and i went along with to take pictures- something that would never ever be allowed in the States. Behind the cardboard cut out were pieces of paper with each party name on it. She then picked the party that she wanted, put it in an envelope with her information on it and dropped it in a box. Simple as that. Take a look- 

Sderot

Today we had a Siyur (a field trip). Normally on Siyurim we go to Jerusalem, Ceasaria, places in the country with history and education. Today wasn't any different in the sense that we went to a place with significance and history- but it was an entirely different place that we went to. Today we traveled south to the city of Sderot. 

Sderot is a city that is about 2 kilometers from Gaza and is a favorite target for Gaza. For 8 years now, it has been hit with Quassam rockets daily, with only 15 seconds to find shelter and safety. As we entered the city today I was amazed at its size and the beautiful homes. It looked

 like a totally normal city, but when I looked more closely I saw just how different it is unfortunately. For example- the pictures up above- looks like a normal playground for young kids to go and play. What people don't see is this- 

-The pictures says in case of a "Tzeva Adom" (red alert) this is a shelter. This sign is right on the outside of the Caterpillar in the picture up-top. When we first got off the bus and went to the playground I felt as if it were a normal playground, but then i realized, what other city in America- on earth has bomb shelters on every playground. I think this is what hit me the hardest, the fact that a playground- the place where innocent children are supposed to play and enjoy their childhood has to have a bomb shelter in the case of a "Tzeva Adom". I looked around the playground and imagined the kids at the top of the castle getting ready to go down the slide, then hearing a "Tzeva Adom" and knowing that they need to get down from that castle and into the caterpillar in less that 15 seconds. The sentence sounds bizarre even, but not to the people of Sderot, to the people of Sderot it's unfortunately the way of life. 

A woman by the name of Chava came to speak to us today on the playground. Her first words were- if there is a tzeva adom get in the caterpillars, you know that right? We all nodded. Okay she said, now we can talk. She was a typical mother of 3 living in Sderot. She told us about her kids' lives. Imagine growing up this way- your mother walks you to school, even when you're still 18, you go to a school that looks for like a jail because it is so well protected. You are assigned to a class and cannot leave that classroom until school is over. In you class you have two teachers and one soldier. If you want to go to the bathroom the soldier must go with you, wait for you in the bathroom, and then walk you back to class. Chava told us about her life- how she is on so many anti-anxiety pills, how she changes her teenagers sheets every morning because they are wet every morning.

Chava told us about how when she takes the 2 minute walk from dropping her son off at school to her home, it is a very scary 2 minutes with no shelter. She told us of one time when she was walking home and heard a "Tzeva Adom" with little to no time she ran to the nearest bus stop, of course in Sderot at every bus stop there is a bomb shelter, and hid there. Then she had a 1 more minute walk home, as she got back on her way she heard another alert, she tried to run to her home but 15 seconds is no time to do that, with no where to go she laid down on the ground, and just wished for the best, sh

e told us how she looked up and saw a rocket coming toward her, and that is the last thing she remembered as she went unconscious. She told us about the time that her son was 8 and they went for a walk on a nice day. They were in a field when they heard a "Tzeva Adom" so all she could do was push her son to the ground and lay on top of him. 

Typical life in Sderot is not like life anywhere in America- living under constant fear. 8 year olds who have grown up their whole lives with "Tzeva Adoms". We were told about a psychologist who asked an 8 year old from Sderot "why do you think Ladybugs have shells around them" and his answer immediately was "to protect them from the Quassam rockets". It's so sad to think that to the kids of Sderot all they know is bomb-shelters and tzeva adoms. 

We went to the edge of Sderot where we walked to a look-out point. As we were walking up this hill I thought to myself, 'wow if an alert goes off now, 15 seconds? where would I possibly go'. We walked up the hill and oversaw all of Gaza. It looked no further than a football field or two away. We could see the Palestinian flags, the Mediterranean Sea, Gaza City.

 It was very surreal to see it with our own eyes. 

Picture 1 (the blue tunnel with red writing) is a bomb shelter, they have these types of shelters everywhere says in hebrew, "it's not possible to end this melody".

Picture 2 is the inside of the tunnel, or bomb shelter

Picture 3 is something that was written on the inside of one of the Bomb Shelters in hebrew it says "Sderot we are with you"

Picture 4 is something that was written on the outside of every bomb shelter in Sderot, it has a "Magen David" (star of David) and it says "Am Yisrael Chi" which basically means, Israel will live on

Picture 5 is another written on the inside of one a bomb shelter which is basically an add for a psychologist, it says hard? bad? call this number if you need help.

I guess all one can say to things like Sderot is עם ישראל חי

on a MUCH lighter note i do want to acknowledge the birthday of my favorite mom ever. HAPPPPY BIRTHDAY MOM LOVE YOU!!

-steph

Superbowl Monday?

So a lot of big American events have happened while i've been in israel- the election, ravens games, playoffs, the inauguration. And, I've spent them all (a bit pathetic, i know) at the same place- an American sports bar- Mike's Place. At all the events there have been Americans who come out to see them. The Superbowl, by FAR had the biggest turn-out, even though it didn't start until 1 A.M. so it was technically superbowl monday.

Although it's not my first time, or second, or third, or fourth, experiencing and American event in Israel, it's still always an experience. I sat at the sports bar on Superbowl sunday surrounded by Americans- probably all the Americans currently in the Tel-Aviv and surrounding areas and cheered on the teams we wanted. When the National anthem came on we all stood up. It was weird as for the past 5 months I've stood for the "Ha Tikva" (Israel's National Anthem), and I was now standing for The Star Spangled Banner. 

I love being here in Israel and sometimes I get scared and sad when i think about even going back to the states, but Sunday was a fun reminder of home and my pride for the states.